The Ten Steps to Happiness After 40

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Step One: Engage in self-reflection

I know — easier said than done. Most of us go through our lives never really getting to know ourselves. After all, life offers us many distractions. Who has time for self-reflection? The only way to to be happy after 40 is to get to know yourself really well. This includes accepting and loving who you are. This includes accepting and loving the nervous habits that only you know about, those annoying addictions, and that little pot belly or slight jiggle. All your life perhaps, you have been reminded by a parental voice that you are not quite good enough or smart enough. Or maybe it’s a loving spouse who, with all good intentions, is quick to remind you of your faults. It may be just society — and all the pressures to look and act young while buying lots of stuff and having perfect children and lots of money. All this can make self-reflection a scary proposition, but this is the first and most important step towards happiness. Start with this simple question:

What makes me happiest?

Be completely selfish and honest with your answer

Step Two: Spend time on what makes you most happy

Sounds logical, doesn’t it? Examine your list. What are some of the things that make you happiest; and make you feel most alive? Perhaps it’s the little things — like reading the paper in the morning? Or reading a good book? Maybe it’s spending time with those you care about? Maybe it’s playing on the computer writing music. The point is this: make sure each day contains at least some of these important elements. This will make you happy.

Don’t give up these items to satisfy others and their demands. This will lead to illness and unhappiness.

Step Three: Find someone to take of and who can take care of you

Humans need humans. We also need a few — or even just one — person we can think about all the time: planning activities with or just daydreaming about. Ideally, this will be the same person who spends their day planning for you, dreaming about you, perhaps making your special cup of tea when you come home at night. With someone to care for in a equal relationship, you will be happy. So many relationships end up lopsided, with one person more dependent on the other. Two people who place each other’s needs in high priority in a loving way enables happiness.

Step Four: Laugh a lot each day

Humor helps to focus the mind on the silly aspects of life. Humor helps break patterns such as negative thinking and addictive habits. Whether it’s watching funny movies, going to see comedy or just joking with people you meet, you will lighten the stress of everyday life. This will help you to be happy.

I used to become so angry about sales calls to the house at dinner time. Now, it becomes my comedy hour. The other day someone called to offer some type of insurance. The offer was that if I agreed to buy the insurance, they would send out a ten dollar gift certificate for gas in 7-10 days. I told them I was out of gas today, and asked if they could overnight the coupon, so that I could have gas the following day. Then I asked them when their dinner break was. They told me, and I said I would call them back during their dinner break as I was having my dinner! The person said they weren’t allowed to take calls during dinner!! Amazing, but you get the idea!
Laugh with others, and find comedy in your daily life. This will make you happy.

Step 5: Be physical

There are lots of ways to be more physical. You can run, lift weights, swim, do yoga, walk, make love—you get the idea. Motion changes emotion. Stuck in a depression? Get out and move! This will make you happy.

Step 6: Take afternoon naps

A twenty-minute nap lying down will recharge your batteries. Add eight hours of sleep each night, and you will feel rested. When we are rested, our creativity soars, our spirits are lifted, and we look at the bright side of our lives.
Well-rested people are happier!

Step 7: Eat small meals throughout the day

The typical American diet is little to no breakfast, a decent lunch, and a huge dinner. Break this pattern. Start to eat smaller meals throughout the day. I recommend five meals throughout the day, small and healthy meals, of course.

What we eat has a huge influence on our attitude, and ultimately our happiness.
Fight the urge for unheathy foods. Healthy eating habits can help make you happy.

Step 8: Become emotionally strong

When we let others and their feelings and perceptions of us worry us all day, this drains our energy and spirit. When we live our lives for the approval of others, we are no better off than the puppet on the string at the local children’s puppet show. Become internally motivated, and you will become emotionally stronger. Use quiet time to think deeply about one subject at a time until you reach a conclusion and resolution. In the end, tell yourself you did the best you could at the time. This will make you emotionally strong, and you will be happier.

Step 9: Treat your money with respect

Your money has no loyality to any person or cause. It goes where you decide to place it.

Even though there is really great software these days to track your money, start with a pencil and a piece of paper. Examine what comes in each month, and what goes out. That’s it.

Make sure you are spending money on things that are important to you and that add value in your life. Certain bills may add value in your life, such as the electric bill, but the multiple credit card bills do not add value, especially if, like most of us, you still have the bills coming long after you have forgotten what you bought. Pay these off. There is no secret here. You either have to reduce expenses or increase income. Both can make you happy. In my experience, reducing the expense side will make you happier!

Step 10: Do the work you love

Of course I saved the best for last. When we spend our days doing work that aligns our interests and our abilities — and feels just right — we are happier. Start by examining your work: this can help you progress through the other nine steps. Most of us figure out what work might make us happy, but then we quickly convince ourselves that our dreams are not possible.

Think about it, if you don’t believe that your dreams are possible, who else will?

START!

Each day, focus on one of these steps and within a few weeks you will learn how to use all ten steps together. Like a well-tuned orchestra, you will start to play the music that makes you happiest.

After 40, isn’t it about time for you?

I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson

Craig Nathanson is the author of P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day and a coaching expert who works with people over forty.

Visit Craig’s online community at http://www.thevocationalcoach.com where you can take a class, get more ideas through Craig Nathanson’s books and CD’s, get some private coaching over the phone or in Craig’s office, or read other stories of mid-life change and renewal.

Craig lives and works in Petaluma, California. His office is located at 921 Transport Way, Suite 3, Petaluma Ca, 94954. You can reach him at 707-775-4020 or at craig@thevocationalcoach.com.

Craig Nathanson
http://www.articlesbase.com/coaching-articles/the-ten-steps-to-happiness-after-40-724754.html

Posted in: comedy March 2010


11 Responses to “The Ten Steps to Happiness After 40”

  1. Linoart te ama en secreto ♡ Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 8:36 am

    Is there happiness one step after extreme depression?

  2. .hershey.squirts. Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Have a lot of sex. That will help.
    References :

  3. Think Tank Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Comedy is the answer, life is too short to be gloomy
    References :

  4. jl Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Depression has been demonstrated to be a physical disease. It’s when astrocytes, a type of protective cell, are absent from the brain; and the myelin sheath is absent from neurons (the main signal carrying cells). It requires treatment, not telling someone to snap out of it. But yeah, you can definitely learn to be happy again.
    References :

  5. **Cookie WARS** Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    ya there could be its a possibility but sometimes you need more than just one step to get there. sometimes happiness will find out, other times u need to search for it
    References :

  6. melanie {SPACS} Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Well, once you’ve hit the bottom the only thing left to do is go back up again.
    References :

  7. Majestic Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Happiness is just like depression. It’s an emotion. A state of mind. So, to answer your question, yes, there is happiness after extreme depression.

    Do things that used to make you happy or still do. Push away negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This is hard, but you can do it.

    Always remember: Positive energy attracts positivity (happy thoughts, good people, fun activities, etc.). Negative energy attracts negativity (sad/bad thoughts, sad music, negative people, etc).

    It’s the law of attraction.
    References :
    http://healing.about.com/od/lawofattraction/a/whatis_loa.htm

  8. arabianbard Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Provided that you are out of depression already, the first sign of happiness is the nice feeling of "relief". Don’t let it go; hold on to it and go directly and have a nice hot tub bath and go out for a walk, have a quiet meal, and if you can have sex after that and/or watch an episode of "Friends" then you will have made your day.
    References :

  9. Alison Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    If you don’t think you can get over it by yourself, you can have your doctor prescribe meds. They start you with a small dosage and then build it up until you’re feeling better, then wean you off of it. That in combination with other things like seeing a psychologist or something of that nature. If you don’t think it’s that serious, you could try exercising because the adrenaline your body produces will help. I think to a certain extent, some things are possible to get over without meds; I did it.
    References :

  10. nearlyfond Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Life begins on the other side of despair.

    - Jean Paul Sartre
    References :

  11. Private <}:-}) Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Yes. You only fail when you fall down,
    and don’t step back up. <}:-})
    References :

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